Topic: Essays

Last updated: March 10, 2019

When you’ve been sad for so long it’s hard to reset,
The bad chemicals in your brain have made themselves at home

I remember my mother telling me that my depression and mental illnesses were just a game to me
But if they were just a game I would’ve turned them off
Thrown out the counsel
Taken out the headphones
Put away the controllers
Because I wouldn’t want my mental illnesses to control me
Because if I could control my mental illnesses (them) I wouldn’t be ill

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I try to tell people my feelings but they just come up as errors on the screen

If I had the power to turn them off I wouldn’t still be playing
I wish I wasn’t playing
Why am I still playing
why can’t I get past the levels (I wish I could just get past the levels)
I wish someone would have told me that I don’t have to beat my high score
That even when the screen says Game Over you still have more lives left
I wish the screen didn’t say Game Over Game Over Game Over
Now it just feels like the game is unplugged (Now the game is unplugged)
Like there’s nothing left on the screen
Just black
No noise
No sound
Just silence

When you’ve been sad for so long it’s hard to reset
The bad chemicals in your brain are here to stay
I know my game isn’t resetting
I wish someone would just change the channel


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