Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus
“Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” is a book written by American author and relationship counsellor John Grey , after he had earned degrees in meditation and taken a correspondence course on psychology. The book states that most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological difference between the sexes , which the author exemplifies by means of its eponymous metaphor ; that men and women are from distinct planets – men from Mars and women from Venus – and that each sex is acclimated to its own planet’s society and customs , but not to those of the other.

Grey writes how men and women each monitor the amount of giving and taking in relationships . If the balance shifts one person feeling they have given more than they have received , resentment can develop . This is a time when only communication can help to bring the relationship back into balance.

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Grey further asserts men and women view giving and receiving love differently, how individual actions intended as loving expressions are ” tallied up ” . According to Grey, women and men are often surprised to find their partners ” keep score ” at all, or that their scoring methods widely differ.

He says women use points system which few men are aware of . Each individual act of love gets one point , regardless of magnitude . The women should be satisfied with his performance and give him credit for it . He encourages talking about these issues openly .
Grey also states when a male tolerance to stressful situations is exceeded they withdraw temporarily , ” retreating into their cave ” , so to speak . Grey holds that male retreat into the cave has historically had been hard for women to understand . When women became unduly stressed , their natural reaction is to talk with someone close about it . This sets up a natural dynamic where the man retreats as the women tries to get closer , which becomes a major source of conflict between them.

The ” wave ” is a term Grey to describe a natural dynamic centred around a women’s ability to give to other people . He writes when she feels full of love and energy to give to others , her wave is stable , when she gives of herself , but doesn’t receive adequate love and attention in return , her wave becomes unbalanced , cresting and eventually crashing , then a women needs the attention , listening , understanding , and reassurance of those around her – as well as self love . Grey explains that once she is rejuvenated by getting g the support she needs , her wave is able to build and rise once again , with renewed love and energy to give . Men , advises Grey , should support this natural cycle by not being threatened by it or telling her why she should not feel the way a women feels .


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