Marriage; a legal union of man and wife. Nowadays, there are several ideas of marriage. First marriage based on love and marriage arranged by the third party, usually by the parents. Many cultures believe in arranged marriages, and it exists in countries such as India and Japan. What exactly is arranged marriage? Arrange marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by individuals other than the couple themselves. Many cultures bring this practice of arrange marriage to the to the United States, and force their American raised children into marriages with people whom the children do not love.
There are people who are against arranged marriages, as well as people who are for arranged marriages. Arranged marriages should not be allowed because it causes depression, it causes a lack of independence, and it prevents true love. First of all, arranged marriages should not be allowed because it causes depression. When you are with someone whom you do not naturally love, you become unhappy. When you are unhappy, you become depress. Jamila, the author of Spouse Health Status and Depression Affect, says that “depression prevents you from living a normal mental and healthy life” (Jamila). To illustrate, statistics show that about 75% of people in arranged marriages are depressed, and the average rate of divorce is just 4% (Jamila). Which he argues that ” Just because divorce rates are low does not mean that people are actually happy more often in an arranged marriage.
The cultures that are involve in such marriages do not support divorce in almost all circumstances. As a result, most couples involved show resilience, which refers to successfully adaptation to adversity or stress” (Jamila). My aunt is in an example of someone who is depressed in an arranged marriage. she explained to my mother that she is very depress because she did not marry someone she loved. she was never depressed before her marriage. As a result she leaves the house everyday with a sad look.
Perhaps if my aunt did marry someone she loved, she would not have been depressed. Furthermore, arranged marriages should not be allowed because it causes a lack of independence. Love marriages offer more independence and freedom, but arranged marriages does not have such privilege. Knowing someone before marriage allow partners to have a better respect and understanding for each one others needs and desires. Poornima, the author of Feministic Corncerns of Independent life in Chitra arranged marriaged, said that ” In India, where many arranged marriages happen, women have been known to stay in abusive relationships against their will because of fear, shame, and believing that abuse is normal” (Poornima).
I am against arranged marriages in the united states because they take away the freedom that America has to offer. Every person has the right to choose what he or she wants to do and with whom he or she wants to be with. In the word of Osho, an Indian godman and leader of the Rajneesh movement, “India missed with love -based marriage; the West is missing with free love. India missed love because parents were too calculative and cunning.”(Oshoyug). If people are forced in to arranged marriages, regardless of their culture, then it goes against everything America has to offer which is freedom of choice.
I have a friend who is part of the Indian culture, but he is American raised. Although her parents live in America, they still force force my friend in to a marriage against her free will. According to her parents, the freedom did not apply to them and my friend did not have the chance to experience the freedom that my other friends and I got to experience.