Challenges of Parenting
University of the Incarnate Word
Introduction to Psychology
Challenges of Parenting
There are many different parenting styles and choosing the most effective style can be challenging, many factors contribute to which style of parenting people chose, in the end the style you choose with affect your growing child tremendously. Differentiating between the different style of parenting and weighing the pros and cons of each can be a harrowing task but is the best way to go about deciding which one will fit your family best. People can fall into different parenting styles from lack of knowledge or lack of caring which can cause problems to arise. The four different main types of parenting are permissive parenting, uninvolved parenting, authoritarian parenting, and the last style which allows for children’s best chance at being successful throughout life is authoritative.
Permissive style parenting is along the lines of the parents wanting to be their child’s friend instead of being the leader in the relationship, the parent tends to worry more about if their child thinks they’re cool and fun to be around. Instead of teaching and leading their child they feel like if their child gets mad or upset with them that they are doing something wrong when in reality they need to be firm and adamant with their decisions so that the parent child relationship doesn’t gets confused. This also allows for the child to know their place and to see that they aren’t in control of their parent. According to Ghani “Permissive Parenting are the parents that are overly tolerant, are very accepting, place high value on personal freedom for children, see themselves as resources that child can choose to use.” An example for this type of parenting would be if it was a school night and the parent told their child that it was time for bed because they have to wake up for school in the morning. But the child says that they aren’t sleepy and that they want to stay up and the parent says alright then go to bed whenever you get tired. When a parent does this they lose control of the situation and allow the child to have more control of the situation when they shouldn’t. Most kids never want to go to bed early for school in the morning but rules for developing children are set in place for a reason. Children have developing minds and need an adequate amount of sleep to function properly, furthermore, they can’t learn in school being sleepy and constantly dozing off.
There are many adverse effects from conforming to this form of parenting. Children that are raised in a household of permissive parents will more often than not have developmental issues due to the lack of guidance from their parents. The children will unfortunately lack maturity, lack the the ability to control themselves in certain situations, they are more defiant, and they are very demanding and dependent (Joseph, 2016). The long term from utilizing this parenting style can be very detrimental to their cognitive and psycho-motor development (Mensah, M. K., & Kuranchie, A. 2013). The child will also often have lower academic grades and higher chances of having a substance abuse addiction. Children in this style are also less motivated especially when it comes to school work (Cohen & Rice, 1997; Dornbusch et al., 1987; Shumow, Vandell, & Posner, 1998). Many researchers link this correlation with permissive parenting due to the lack of discipling, allowing the child to have too much freedom and never having preventive behavior conversations.
I would never utilize this form of parenting when I become a parent because from the research it’s clear that this style of parenting is unfavourable and is disadvantageous to your child’s development. Children rely on you to guide and to teach them the ways of life to have the best chance at a successful life. Exercising this style of parenting only sets your child up for failure. Having set rules and regulations are very important for a child to understand that throughout life they won’t always have control and that they still need to obey and respect certain things that are set in place. For all the aforementioned reasons I would have to say this form of parenting should never be utilized having a good relationship and loving your child is very important but you also need to ensure that your child always understands that you are the parent.
The most destructive style of parenting would have to be the uninvolved style. An uninvolved parent lacks most if not all parenting qualities they are neglectful, they do not satisfy their child’s basic needs, while making little to no demands from their child and sometimes are completely neglectful. When a child is developing they need love and affection from their parents and these type of parents fall short. There are two different forms of uninvolved parenting to include physical and emotional. Physical uninvolved parents are physically absent from their child’s life (Claussen ; Crittenden, 1991; Glaser, 2002). While emotional uninvolved parents are present in their child’s life but they aren’t emotionally available in their child’s life (Cicchetti, & Carlson; 1989; Collins et al., 2000; Martin & Walters, 1982; Rothrauff, Cooney, & An, 2009).
The adverse effects of using this style of parenting causes a significant amount of psychological issues to the child. According to Joseph “These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers”. This is due to the fact that they don’t have their parent involved in their life whats so ever this type of treatment confuses the child and they don’t know how to act. They can be disobedient in hopes that maybe there parents will show them some type of attention good or bad. These children are extremely deprived from everything they require from their parents. When children are neglected and given little to no guidance they lack control and lack guidance (Joseph 2016).
I strongly disagree with this form of parenting because this is not beneficial to the child’s growth and development in any way. This form will most likely end with the child have many issues as an adult and they have the highest chance of substance abuse. A lot of these children also deal with depression and will probably think that their best or only solution is suicide. I highly urge parenting to refrain from adopting this form of parenting.
Every parent’s worst fear is for their child to take the wrong paths in life and you want to protect them by all means. Parenting who practice the authoritarian parenting style enforce rules and give no leeway they demand obedience. This form of parents can deter the children from wanting to have a relationship with their parents. The child feels like they can’t have an open relationship with their parents because they accept nothing less than perfection. Parenting who use this form of parenting also fail at explains why certain rules are in place. An example of this form of parenting would be the parent telling the child to do something and the child asking “why” and the parent saying “because I said so”.
The long term effects of this style of parenting can lead to dysfunctional relationships between the parent and child and can affect the emotional development of the child (Miller 2016). This form of parenting can also have an impact on the child’s relationship with God. Many children with authoritarian parents don’t feel loved or accepted by their parents. They also fear their parents because they get in trouble for the littlest things.
This form of parenting isn’t the best style to use in my eyes. Using this form of parenting doesn’t allow for a healthy relationship between the parent and the child. I also believe that most children that are raised with these type of parents are more rebellious and take a lot of risks to spite their parents. Having rules are very important for a child’s development but I don’t feel like you should go overboard.
The last style of parenting is authoritative and this form of parenting allows for the best opportunity for the child to be successful. This style results in the most positive results when raising children and fewer problems with your child (Joseph 2016). An example of this style would be you explaining rules to your child for them to understand why they have to follow them and having an open relationship with them. Children raised by these parents have higher academics, self-perceptions, and developmental skills.
The long term effects are very positive because the parents provide all around support. The children perform better in school, have better social skills, and think highly of themselves. Which allows the child to have a trusting and healthy relationship with their parents which is very important for their child’s development. The long term effects allow for the best results in a child’s life.
Picking a style of parenting is a no brainer I would choose this form of parenting everytime. When raising my child I want to give them the best chance at life there are enough obstacles they will go through and I want to give them all the tools they need to be successful in life. I want to have a very healthy and loving relationship with my future child while also having rules to teach them about obedience. Children need to feel comfortable and trust their parents more than anyone else in the world they should be able to count on you no matter what.
Many things come to play when choosing a parenting style for your children. All the research involving the different parenting styles points to authoritative style parenting being the most beneficial for a child’s growth. I also agree with the research because a child needs their parents to guide them and build them into a responsible and respectable adult. The other three parenting styles have to many flaws and negative effects on the child’s development.