Topic: Family, Life & ExperiencesEmotions

Last updated: March 27, 2019

As Jesus Christ said, from the beginning, men and women were meant to marry and become “one flesh”—living together as mutual partners, bound for life (Matthew 19:4-6).

God didn’t intend married couples to divorce. Rather, they were to “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it …” (Genesis 1:28).Divorce in the Philippines has been an issue for several years.

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In fact, the Philippines is the only country in the world besides the Vatican that does not allow divorce, mostly due to religion (de Leon, 2014). However, The House of Representatives Committee on Population and Family Relations made history as it submitted a divorce bill for plenary deliberations for the first time. The committee approved a substitute bill that consolidated all proposals to legalize divorce and dissolution of marriage.

The approval by the committee came after the substitute bill was transmitted by the technical working group led by Albay Rep. Edcel Lagman, also an author of the Reproductive Health Law in the 15th Congress (ABS-CBN news). The bill consolidated all proposals to legalize divorce and dissolution of marriage. However, it is important to understand in detail the different reasons that divorce can affect children, women, men, society, and most importantly it is against the will of God. First and foremost, what exactly is divorce and why do couples do it? Oxford Dictionaries (2015) defines divorce as “the legal dissolution of marriage by a court or other competent body”. In this, many factors can be blamed like a lack of commitment and equality in the relationship, infidelity, marrying too young, and abuse (Utah State University, 2015).

According to the Philippine’s Solicitor General’s office, there were 9,117 petitions for annulment filed in 2010, 61 percent of which were filed by women. The pros of divorce definitely have good points, but the Philippine society, with its traditional mindset, is not quite ready for it. The Divorce Bill would allow individuals to be free of their unhappy and most of the time abusive marriages and also gives guidelines for settling financial concerns as well as the custody of the children, if any. But even though people should have the right to leave a bad marriage, divorce should not consider as an option or solution.The people should know that divorce is not the answer to the growing violence against women and children. “Believe it or not, divorce has health implications.

Since stress plays a role in illness, it would only make sense that splitting up would cause or exacerbate symptoms of an underlying illness. If you decide to split, make sure you are attending to good self-care and reduced stress levels”. (qtd. By Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.

D., LCPC). Most divorce advocates gives special importance on the growing children and women abuse. According to Gabriela Party-list Rep. Emmy de Jesus they stand firm about the use of the word divorce among the concerns of House Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez that there may be sectors who will object to the use of the word. (cited by Cruz, RG. 2018. ABS-CBN News).

But I really do not see it as a solution for these problems. In fact it leads to the growing problem of immorality and sexually related diseases and problems such as unwanted pregnancies and sexually related diseases (qtd. by frankiepoop). And I believe that you will agree with me that these problems are a threat to women, children and even family.But then simply because people were given the choice and chance to change while the fact is, it is where the so-called “rights” is abused. It is where many people make use of the right and abuse it for their own self-centred selfish search for happiness and will only bring them to the same situation again and again and again. That’s why you will see people divorced not just once, nor twice, but multiple times. As I mentioned earlier this right has proven to be easily abused.

And we are not actually giving people the solution to their problems, but a chance to repeat the same mistakes. Divorce is like a medicine but unrecommended one. For example, there is abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then just look for another woman to marry and later on will abuse her too.

While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce. Immorality I guess this is not so much “in” nowadays. It’s something that most people don’t want to talk about except those that are of the religious sectors and religious people.

I hate to say this but the Philippines have a steep moral degradation and that is why most of these divorce proponents put forward a silly solutions for various problems.Secondly, not only is that divorce is not the answer to the growing violence it also affects the children. Whether a couple goes through annulment, legal separation or divorce, their children will always be the most affected.

Divorce and separation have direct impact on children’s development. Children are affected by divorce and separation in many ways. In the short term, they may experience intense emotions and feel conflicted loyalties. Children under 4 are especially sensitive as this is a period when many rapid changes are taking place cognitively, emotionally and socially.

Most children don’t suffer long-term consequences, but the possible impacts of divorce and separation for some (e.g., mental health, substance abuse, delinquency and teenage pregnancy) speak to the need for better supports for parents and interventions for children affected causes psychological trauma to children, with effects that last into adulthood (Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development).

In the book Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce, Elizabeth Marquardt, who spent three years surveying 1,500 young adults from both divorced and intact families and interviewing 71 of them at length, estimated that a quarter of adults aged 18 to 35 have grown up in divorced families. Her research suggests that even children of somewhat unhappy, low-conflict marriages fare better than children of divorce.Psychologists have researched the effects of divorce upon children’s mental state, which can also deteriorate later in adulthood. It can therefore be thoroughly justified that divorce is harmful to children’s moral well-being and behaviour. Children experience extensive loss and unexpected change after the divorce of their parents. The majority of the effects of divorce are unpleasant since children are deprived of a formerly familiar environment and status in the community.

According to Nancy Dreger, “in children, divorce can generate personal fears unrelated to their parents or the security of the environment: concern about how friends will react to the news, fear of being embarrassed” (LIRN). The Journal of Youth and Adolescence manifest that divorce does not damage a child’s existence as, “being exposed to conflict within the family in the form of arguments and violence is positively related to feelings of anger and depressed mood among adolescents” (LIRN). This argument is flawed for the effects of divorce seriously inflict psychological impacts upon a child.The biggest factor as to why we should not consider divorce is because of our faith and it is not unrighteous in the eyes of God.

First, marriage is one of the Seven Sacraments that all Christians celebrate and hold dear. Marriage, according to American Catholic, is a public sign that one gives oneself totally to another person. It is especially sacred to Christians because having a church wedding means a person is not only making a promise to his/her future spouse but also to God.

An interview with Archbishop Socrates Villegas, the president of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines revealed the church’s opinion on the issue, saying that divorce makes a mockery of marriage. If divorce is allowed, the sanctity of marriage will be lost. It won’t seem like such an important decision to some because one can always “undo” and “redo”.

Secondly, couples will soon choose the easy way out of a situation. The simplest problems will have the power to break marriages apart because couples would see divorce as an option, instead of working through the problem as a team. As a result of that, more and more couples will end in divorce and will set a bad example for their children. Future generations will put less importance on marriage when they mature and the cycle just continues.The Bible says that Marriage was the first institution established by God in the book of Genesis, chapter 2. It is a covenant agreement, meant for life; therefore it must not be broken under any circumstance. Since I started reading and searching about God nothing in the Bible that will tell you that God favoured and felt better for divorce. It was only allowed due to the hard headedness of men.

God did not made man and woman to be united and then separated if they got into some problem. If you fear the Lord and his commands, there is no way that you will agree on divorce. This is not what God wants. As simple as it is. Even if some pastor and theologians quantify it as a “necessary amputation” as far as I concern, I would say that divorce is divorce, and God hates it.

It was only men who wants it, not God. Fear of God and teach Morality. If we have the fear of God and we understand what morality means, then we understand the real answer to the growing problems related to violence against women and children.

Divorce is definitely NOT a TRUE medicine nor a solution to the growing domestic problems. I see it just like illegal drugs which may have a little benefit of easing the pain of the patient. But in most cases, it is an addictive medicine that can kill and destroy life and relationships.Although legalizing divorce can save many individuals from bad relationships, it can also erase the importance of marriage. People should understand and think first why they marry the person and how they start. People also need to be completely sure of the person that they will be marrying to be able to sustain a happy and healthy relationship.

Above all, the main key for a successful relationship is Christ, Christ should be the ruler of our hearts and our home.


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